Saturday, April 3, 2010

Self-Sabotage or Self-Defense?

I once blogged about positive psychology and happiness. Recently, I found an another interesting psychological behavior: sabotaging success. A fairly recent article in the NY times introduces couple of cases in which some people victimize themselves. For example, the man introduced in the article saw himself as the victim of failed love relationship and bad luck with promotion. By defining himself to be an unlucky guy and blaming others around him for causing such bad-luck, the man in the article was placing himself in further misery and self-defeat. I think many people have these symptoms of self-defeating behavior and I can think of a reason why some people stick to this idea. By defining themselves as unlucky, these people are avoiding possible disappointments in their life. The worse thing than a bad news itself is the disappointment. However, if you define yourself as a person who always does not get what he or she wants, then why get disappointed? It’s meant to be! It is a form of escape that many people seek in order to avoid confronting themselves. Oh, typical me! This can be only happening to me! I knew this was going to happen to me. Sound familiar? By victimizing ourselves, we pardon our shortcomings and defects unconsciously. Self-sabotage? Maybe rather masochistic self-defense. But always remember, playing the victim will not change anything.

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